Email and Text Guidelines

E-mail/texting is pervasive, and more so with children and teens, yet etiquette and guidelines around it are sparse.  The results can be pleasing or toxic.  What we find useful is summarized here.

To Email/text or Not to Email/text
…that is the question.

Email and texting can be an amazing time saving technology; it can spread information quickly, and connect people and ideas.  At the same time, ‘tis a double-edged sword, with misunderstandings, degraded relationships, being alone in a crowd, and inefficiency issues being possible/probable. 

Guidelines to consider for effective use of these technologies:

Send it!

Talk live in person, or phone.

-Information or documents efficiently communicated via text such as lists or schedules or FYI that isn’t emotionally loaded or highly debatable.

-Reminders or scheduling requests that people might forget.  These require no response.

-Request for feedback on one’s writing that isn’t pressing or time sensitive.

-A minor request when the people are unlikely to meet soon enough to address it.

-Quick note of minor appreciation or thanks

-Media/attachments to be viewed and efficiently responded to in the same medium. 

-You are seeking a discussion and the people are likely to meet soon, or it is reasonable to arrange this.

-You are seeking answers to large open-ended questions that can't rapidly be responded to.

-Message is timely, important, and person is reachable

-More than two paragraphs about your thoughts on a situation/subject

-There is emotional weight behind what you’re wishing to communicate OR there is likely to be an emotional response by the other(s)

-Criticism / critique is any part of the message

-You are hoping to cleanly communicate a concern

-You sent an e-mail, wanted a reply, but didn’t get one

A few other points for consideration

  1. Use crisp sentences, unambiguous questions, keep it short.
  2. Choose clear subject lines. 
  3. BLUF: Bottom Line Up Front.  Example “BLUF: Schedule Bill and I for a chicken time clinic tomorrow.” Put the explanation, details or rationale, afterward “Bill and I tried to meet at lunch today…we have been meaning to talk about…tomorrow is the last day we can…”
  4. Avoid open-ended questions.
  5. Cut gratuitous responses, especially on group emails. You don't need to reply to every email, especially if adds no value to the conversation.  Remember the quote, “Speak (write) if it improves upon the silence.”
  6. Think before you cc.  Do they really want to know, and how do you know?  Is their time already compromised?  Is it clear that a response is needed/requested? 
  7. Forward courteously.  Say why you sent it, let them know what to pay attention to, and how you hope they’ll respond. 

Don't Send That Email. Pick up the Phone!

Harvard Business Review article on the subject.  :-)

The points to consider before communicating

Succinct and truly useful as a sticky note on your monitor: 
1. Does this sound like me?
2. Is this how I would talk to a friend?
3. Do I believe what I'm writing?

The Filter Hierarchy

Seth Godin notes the flurry of digital information we can deal with daily, and asks us to reflect on how we want to prioritize it. 

Email is easy to write and easy to misread

A New York Times article on the subject. Author = Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence, and other books.

Integrity - Clean Communication - Email
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